What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
