super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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