the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We need to get me chipped asap
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
