dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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