I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
