I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
