I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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