I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
