he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
We smell like vodka and hangover
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
