oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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