we made out on top of his cat.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
