found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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