Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
