final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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