If i come over, it means nothing
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize