Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
