I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just made out with a guy for $7.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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