O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
