the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
