we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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