She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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