woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
These tits shall not be calmed
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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