Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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