I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
