We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
