Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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