I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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