Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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