So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
