If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She said her name was "party"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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