physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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