I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
