ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
