help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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