I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
