Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
