I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
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you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize