she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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