I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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