Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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