3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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