so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
