Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
