I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
