i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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