He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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