VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
