ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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