I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
