Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
