they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Did I show you my penis last night?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
