Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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