My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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