She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
