Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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