I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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