Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
