I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think your dad took our porno
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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