dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
