I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
