The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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