I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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