I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
