do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Randomize
