oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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