apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
