At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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