I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
